Happy Begining to Your Summer!

"Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly."

Here's some fun quotes to kick of your summer:

“Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.” – Unknown.

“The shortest distance between two points is under construction.” – Noelie Altito.

“Wit is cultured insolence.” – Aristotle.

“Illiterate? Write for help!” – Anonymous.

“It’s a control freak thing. I wouldn’t let you understand.” – S.H. Underwood.

“Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.” – E.B. White.

“When I get the urge to clean, I lay down until it passes.”

"A university professor set an examination question in which he asked the difference between ignorance and apathy. The professor had to give an A to a student who answered: 'I don't know and I don't care.'" - Richard Pratt

"God did not create men and women equal...don't worry; give him time, and he'll evolve."

"I'm not as think as you drunk I am!" (Sounds Like Yoda!)

"I feel that there is an angel inside me whom I am constantly shocking."

"All bow your heads for the man's prayer:
I'm a man, but I can change.
If I have to.
I guess." - Red Green show, weekly, PBS

"This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence."

"You say you dislike me, but deep down, you know you hate me."

"Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."

"My goal in life is to hurt you, severely. Come here..."

"I hear voices, and they don't like you."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished."

"This is not something to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown, with great force."

"He's not dead; he's electroencephalographically challenged."

"For sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain."

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

"If you don't like my driving then stay off the sidewalk!"

"My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems."

"I like work. It fascinates me. I could sit and look at it forever."

"How little do they see what is, who frame hasty judgments upon that which seems."

"The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense."

"They say love hides behind every corner. I must be walking in circles!"

"Nobody makes a greater mistake than he who does nothing because he can only do little."

"Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die."